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Jonathan Frank's avatar

Three comments, not exactly in reply to your points but on the topic:

1) Let alone women, I wonder how much further men are working from home today than they used to? While this is completely anecdotal, an older man I once ended up talking to for a while mentioned that when he was younger - so '50s? '60s? '70s? - sure, everybody worked at the factory, but they lived close by, close enough that most went home for lunch. I have no idea how unique that neighborhood or employer was, but I'm a bit boggled imagining it today at all.

2) When I was in Korea, the haircut shop I mostly went to was run by a woman whose family lived "over the shop" - her kids would get home from school sometimes when I was there and go through the shop to the back stair. A bit harder to run a business like that in an American suburb than an Asian city, but still. It seems to me anybody concerned for healthy families should be in favor of the industrial wheel having come all the way around again and starting to enable work - admittedly quite different work - from home again. I get employers worried about losing control but on the social side of things I don't understand why anybody would oppose it in general, although of course certain jobs might have security concerns or whatever. It's bizarre to me that in general conservatives seem more likely than anybody else to want the jobs back in the office.

3) There's something very odd about a woman with young children teaching in a school, as it means she's handing off her own children to somebody else in order to teach somebody else's children. As a teacher myself I've obviously had a lot of coworkers in my position, and while as a single guy I'm hardly in a position to offer advice or criticize the necessity or choice, I'm always a bit surprised there's not more resentment of the situation than there is. One thing I've been mulling over is what it would take to make children more acceptably in "employment spaces" - especially when we're talking about something like a 4th-grade classroom, is having a 3-year old around really going to disrupt anything?

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Angela Duenn's avatar

Hi Mary! What a wonderful topic! One that I continue to struggle with day to day and continue to pray for balance. I wish work would not take women away from their homes. I wish the professional world would be tolerant of children and their needs above the professional gains. I wish more women would talk about this and share ways in which they make the work life integration work for different stages of life. I wish I was not as harsh on myself when things don't go perfectly.

I have been blessed to work remotely and have work that allows for interruptions unless I'm in a meeting or seeing patients. I have two home offices, a quiet one where I take work meetings and complete focused work; and a loud one where I spent the majority of my work day and the kids have full access to momma when they need me. A nanny comes to watch over the kids but I am fairly involved in the care of the kids. I like this set up but I tend to get distracted with child care (breastfeeding, diapering, tantrums, etc) and housework (dishes in the sink, dirty bathrooms, laundry, general organization, etc) which then means I end up finishing my non-urgent work when everyone is sleeping (not recommended!).

Dave and I try to divide and conquer as much as we are able. I don't like to delegate but I find that is the only way to get things done without taking away from family time. I am realizing that the kids prefer my presence now more than anyone else's so I need to prioritize that. Our nanny now takes care of the meals during the weekdays and makes a double batch at lunch so we don't have to make dinner. I've sought out help to clean the house when I can't keep up with it and we have a lawn mow service. I also started ordering food for pick up and try to bundle errands so I can be efficient with my time. I am always looking for ways to optimize our time in order to have more free time to spend as a family but that is not always possible.

Looking forward to hear thoughts from others and what is working or not working!

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