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Elizabeth Petrides's avatar

Random comments first: 1. Married people are busy with things "of the world," but priests and religious are, too. There are budgets, buying groceries, laundry, all the daily work that lay people have to do as well. Our priest follows the Tigers. We are incarnate human beings, so we are necessarily busy with the things of the world. Priests are concerned about how to please their congregations and their bishops in a way similar to the concerns of married people.

2. We learn to love in relationships. We grow in holiness in relationships. We grow because the people around us irritate us and we have to love them, or we try to learn how not to irritate them and be a blessing to them. This happens best in families and cloistered communities. (cf. A Right to be Merry by Mother Mary Frances.) If a priest or religious isn't experiencing those bump-elbows kinds of irritations, he or she isn't really growing in holiness. And when a priest or religious is irritated with people, they can go to bed at night alone. They don't have to sleep in the same bed with the people who irritated them. Married people have that opportunity to grow in holiness that celibates don't have.

3. I suspect your historical/linguistic context research is going to help. Dad and I are watching a video series about Jesus and the Dead Sea Scrolls, based on a book by John Bergsma. Apparently, he (and Jesus and John the Baptist) was aware of the Essenes in the community there. They had some interesting ideas about lots of things. His book, or other research into the Essenes might be helpful to you here.

4. There does come a "point of no return," as you call it. At some point in marriage, and as in priestly life, you have experienced enough exhaustion and purposelessness (at least it feels like it) that you reach that point of no return. You complete the task (stay married, stay in the priesthood), not because it's fun, but because you promised God you'd stay. The exhaustion and the joy come and go the rest of your life, but this is when you experience the fidelity of God. Our fiat has to turn into an Amen. (The Anima Christi book by Mother Mary Frances)

5. I'm not sure that a celibate life is more conducive to growth in holiness than married life. The extra effort that married people have to put into this growth and the challenges we face, I think make us tougher in our holiness.

6. St. Paul also gave us the beautiful teaching about the Body of Christ, each of us having different gifts that are used for the Kingdom. This needs to be juxtaposed on the 1 Cor. 7 bit. The two passages can't contradict one another, especially since they were both written by the same man to the same community in the exact same letter. What do your sources say about this?

7. You know you're right in pursuing this topic. It's just a matter of doing the research to prove your point. Francis deSales and Jane de Chantal probably have lots to say about this.

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